Things Fall Apart

Nothing went to plan, but everyone is ok.

I am topped up with DayQuil which is alleviating the throat pain but not the hacking cough.  Oh I pity whoever is going to be sitting next to me on this impending flight.

It wouldn't be right to go into the exact details of what happened, but after some hours of childcare, it transpired that I was going to need to make my own way to Larkspur to catch the aircoach.  They only seem to have buses on weekdays, to meet the various ferries.  It being Sunday, Easter Sunday in fact (Jesus came back - he sends his love), there were no buses to be seen.  The average household here has 16 cars per adult, so it's no surprise that they don't need buses.  What did I do? My Dad said - 'I suggest you call yourself a cab'.  'Helen - you're a cab', I said (the old ones are the best!).

I googled 'cab San Anselmo to Larkspur' and called one of the four numbers which popped up.  I requested a cab in half an hour - 'do you have a local number we can call, Mam?' 'No', I replied, as those with local numbers were indisposed.

No cab came.  I called again and asked where my cab was.

'Mam - you are not at the address you gave'
'Yes, I definitely am'
'Mam - the address you gave does not exist'
'Yes, it definitely does, because I am there'
'Mam, the driver came and there was no such address; we could not call you because you don't have a local number'
'Well, I am definitely here, what do you suggest I do?'
'Mam, I cannot help you'
'Ok, well I'll try something else'.

Disheartened, I googled again, back to the four numbers.  I called another of the numbers.
'Taxi? How can I help?'
'Hi - I need a cab to take me from 151...'
'Mam - is that you again? I have told you already, that address does not exist'
'How can it be you again? I've called a different number!'
'Mam - all calls come through to me'
'What? All calls?!'

Finally, an experienced driver came and apologised profusely for the 'Diaper Brigade' which had failed to dispatch a cab to the right address - 'I'm always clearing up after them Mam, I do apologise'.

A farewell coffee and an aircoach later, I checked in using a machine.  The first question amused me -

'Are you travelling with an infant on your lap?' No I certainly am not! I don't think his parents would like that.  When I had said goodbye to the baby earlier, he had burst into tears.  I told myself that it was because he was melancholy at the thought of not seeing his favourite (ok, only) Auntie for a long time.  It was more likely that he had wet his nappy.

Another milestone today was teaching my mother to use WhatsApp.  When mum told me she had purchased a new phone, I said 'It's not a smartphone, is it?'; 'No', she assured me, 'it's an Android'.  I was going to put 'whoever sold my mother a smartphone should be shot', but if I put that, I might get Segway-ed away by a Police Officer - seriously, they Segway their way round this airport (what has this world come to, where 'to Segway' is a socially acceptable verb?).

I have just a 10 hour flight, two tubes and a train standing between me and my home.

No doubt there will be another blog post detailing the flight and the poor souls who find themselves beside me on the flight, but for now, I will sign out.  I have just checked the stats - this blog has had 715 page views across 10 countries since it started, so thanks for reading and for contributing to that.  Perhaps you know me and have shared a few laughs; perhaps you don't know me and have stumbled across my blog by accident.  Perhaps you have enjoyed what you have read and want to offer me a lucrative book deal? Seriously, if you have enjoyed this, whoever you are, you might like to read some of my other blogs: Mexico / Guatemala 2013 - this one is frivolous in places; Rwanda 2013 - this one is the opposite.  Luxemblog 2013 explores taking my Guide unit abroad for the first time.

I am honoured and delighted to be part of the UK delegation to the WAGGGS (that's World Association of Girl Guides and Girl Scouts) World Conference in Hong Kong in July 2014.  I shall be blogging with the rest of the delegation here.  I also tweet here, if you're into that.

Au revoir San Francisco.